'these stories unfinished.'

"with new eyes."

2009-05-25T01:06:00.003-06:00

so i'm 17. and i guess i don't know alot about love.

but i know a few things.

you know when you talk to someone, and they are in love, you can tell.

when you mention that one name, they smile.

and it's not because of anything.

just a name.

just the idea of a person.

when you think of someone you love, when you hear their name, you smile.

not because of the things they've done or the things they'll do, but simply because you love them.

who they are.

you are in love with a person, with the idea of someone. and when you strip it all down to its most basic level, action has little to do with it. you don't love someone for their actions. sure, you remember a flower, a hug, a kiss, a smile. but you don't love those things. they are simply outward factors.

it's why we cling to people we love even when they hurt us.

even when they cast us aside.

love is not action.

action demonstrates love.

but we love people for who they are

not what they do.

people say that we should try to see each morning with new eyes.

they say we should try not to judge.

i think the first moment you meet someone is the best, the most clear.

with nothing to go off of, with no reputation, no introduction, no presuppositions, you simply meet. and you're forced to see them with eyes that are untainted by past actions or future hopes. you simply see them for who they are. meet them where they are and know them as they are.

it is the best thing.

it is untainted.

i wonder if it is the same way with God.

maybe life would be different if we loved God simply because He is God.

not based on any actions, or any hopes.

simply meeting God in honesty

and loving Him for who He is.

i think it would change things, maybe.

maybe we would stop hating God when things went wrong.

maybe.

what I do believe is that we all want to be known. and loved.

loved in the same way we are known. not by our actions, but simply as people.

intrinsically worthwhile because of who we are, not what we have done.

and I think maybe, if we all want that so much, love that so much, than maybe, just maybe, God wants it, too.

to love with new eyes is a challenge.

take it.

telephone lines.

2009-01-21T23:36:00.001-07:00

sometimes i think that
telephone lines
are just snakes
meant to keep me from the
One who wants to hear from me the most.
and all these forms of communication
are simply forms of dis-unification
that keep me from the One
I need to hear from
the most.

"i can't imagine all the things you've seen..."

2008-12-12T21:34:00.002-07:00

Nights are the hardest for me. In the hour between waking and sleeping, when I sit alone, solitary thoughts chasing their way through my tired mind. In the darkness and silence, it's so easy to forget what is right and what is true. And to remember. To remember the sickness, the despair, the pain. The crippling fall. The mistakes I have made take pleasure in parading behind my eyes. A sickening recollection. A trophy collection I have never wanted.

Time and time again I realize what is true. It strikes me in the face, or sneaks up to me on a day when everything is silenced. And time again, I forget it and go my way. And maybe I do not always stray. But I remember the times that I did. And it could, maybe, be just as bad. To torture myself, to put myself through agony. In the name of what? At times, I don't even know. Memories of pain and mistakes and heartache, the paths that I forged for myself in the past. The paths I have left behind.
I forget that although those paths bear my footprints, I have not taken them with me.

I do not presume to grasp what God wants or needs for my life. But I cannot imagine that God wants His people to live in pain. Yes, pain is necessary. Yes, pain teaches. But there is a difference between healthy, real pain and the sharp agony of regret that cripples your every step. I do not believe that God wants the past to control us. I believe He wants something more for us. I believe that's why He died - to forge a new path, a radical path. A path that tells us that we are more than the scars and the horrible mistakes, more than the lying and the tears and the filth from which we were redeemed.

In my own selfish, self-important mind, I punish myself, forgetting that my punishment has already been taken. And in the world I hear that I can never, ever be enough. That God cannot love me, or anyone, who has made mistakes. It is the grossest kind of lie. It denies the very nature of who God is. In my deepest filth and sinfulness, His forgiveness and His love are infinitely deeper. In the days I forget who He is, and turn my back, He remembers my name, and holds out His hands for when I fall.

God does not call us to live in our mistakes. To beat ourselves, to punish ourselves, to rob ourselves of all joy. God reminds us that life is more, that we were meant for more. That the Man who bled on the cross 2000 years ago died for something more than just some broken facade of forgiveness. That healing, redemption, love, and forgiveness are as real as the scars in His hands. That the things of my past, the things that haunt my fragile mind, that things that torture me at night, are no longer a part of me. Gone. Taken by the only One who comprehends true forgiveness and true mercy.

We as humans have our own ideas of what forgiveness looks like. Forgive the wrong, but still cherish it in our hearts, ready to shove back at someone. God's forgiveness looks like something more. Something better. And all it takes is for me to realize it. To let go. Of my plans and my burdens and my self-torture. Of my vices.

I am like a small child playing on the beach, trying to grasp a handful of sand in my fist. Trying to cling to my plans and my ideas of what my life is like, what my mistakes mean. Frustrated when it all slips through my fingers. Trying again and again to hold on to something that isn't meant to be held. Caught up in my own moment, I forget that the entire beach, with its infinite sand, is held in the hands of my Father.

"the secret is letting go."

2008-06-20T14:20:00.001-06:00

I like to spent time talking with a friend of mine. Our conversations are always honest. She is easy to talk to. I remember venting to her one night, wondering if there was something wrong with me.

I keep waiting for the magic moment where I will wake up and be okay. I keep thinking that one of these days I will find that I am "over it". And then, last night it hit me - maybe I will never really be "over it." Maybe things will never be more than okay. Maybe I won't wake up and look in the mirror and love what I see there. Maybe being okay, being happy, doesn't mean that the circumstances and events in my life change. Maybe it just means accepting things for what they are.

I love art. Modern art is art that many people laugh at, but it reminds me of life. You can sit and stare and hate every abstract concept until your eyes ache, or you can look at the big picture and learn from what it is - beauty. I start to wonder if maybe life is meant to break us. Maybe we're more beautiful with our imperfections. Maybe we were made for more than wishes.

It hit me that I will never awake one day and find that I am over it. You can wake up every day hating yourself. It is an easy choice to make. I have fought that battle. I am still fighting it. And no, there hasn't been a magic moment of perfection. But I realized that it gets easier. Never perfect, but easier. It's not a knowledge that I am "over it." It's just that gradually, it gets easier, and unbearable pain fades to a dull ache. Each morning, you wake up. And you may wonder why you're alive, but I think that God must have wanted you to wake up. That's why you did.

Maybe true happiness is found in looking past the ugly and dirty. Let it go. Don't expect life to be perfect. We were made for more than this, so why should it surprise us when life disappoints us? Beauty isn't found in perfection. It's found in falling and bleeding, and losing everything, but still getting back up. Yes, you're limping. But you're walking. There is so much glory, so much joy in that. In fighting through the battle and the days and nights of agony. Today, you're alive. And there must be a reason for that. Life is hard, but there's a reason for that, too.

Tomorrow, and the next day, I will look in the mirror and probably hate what I see. But I will live with it. It's a process of fighting through the hours of pain. Perseverance. Surrender to a Hand, to a Heart that is bigger than my own. Looking for wholeness in this world will leave you empty one hundred percent of the time. We weren't made for this. There is so much more. Stop seeking perfection here on earth. Chasing it will only leave you empty. Surrender your imperfections, your broken dreams. I think that's how happiness is found.

It's a process. You will fall, again and again. And some will laugh at you and others will cry for you. But when you get back up, when you get back in the fight and run the race and work through your doubts, that is where glory and joy are found.

I have seen the damage that the world can do. I have seen the pain and devastation of broken hearts, and how healing seems like an impossible thing. There is no magic moment of perfection. There's only a gradual, slow peace that comes with letting go.

you never let go.

2008-05-14T11:25:00.005-06:00

Life breaks us sometimes. There are moments when we are left standing in the emptiness, holding the shattered pieces of something that was once close to our hearts. There's an empty chasm inside and it seems like nothing can fill it. You fall, and there's a feeling as if nothing can catch you... that you are broken, beyond repair. They say there's hope in the darkness but in the pitch black, when you can't see your hand in front of your face, how easy is it to see hope?

Life has broken me this week. I was left grasping at alot of things and looking for answers. I searched for them in alot of places. I tried denial, I tried tears. And then, finally, the answer came to me in a song I had heard many, many times.

"Oh, no, you never let go, through the calm and through the storm, oh no, you never let go, in every high and every low. Oh no, you never let go, Lord, you never let go of me."

God is good. I believe that God is a god of promises. I don't believe that these promises include a break from pain on this earth. I don't believe that God promises that everything is going to be okay right here, right now. But the promise that is nearest to my heart this week is the promise that no matter what, God will not let go.

How amazing is that? The God of the universe, who formed the earth, the sky, the stars, and every person on this earth, will never let go. No matter how far we run, like the father of the prodigal son, He is waiting. Though we lose everything that once made us strong, His grace carries us through weakness. In the sickening fall, in the fear, in the darkness and the panic and the loss of all hope, there is a whisper that though everything may fall, God is holding us still. And that no matter what happens, He will never let go.

I am weak. I am insufficient. I will never be enough. I cannot deal with pain, with grief, with hurt on my own. They overwhelm me. I shut down. But in the times of heartbreak and of overwhelming brokenness, I can feel His arms around me. I can hear Him whispering.

"Be still. This too, will pass. It's only a shadow, only dust, it means nothing. There are so many greater things. I have something so much better. Trust me. I won't let you go. I won't let you fall. I'm here. Trust me. Do you really think I brought you here just to drown? There's a purpose in this. Be still, my child."

In the words of a song this week, I heard God whisper, and I felt Him wipe all my tears away. Though I am infinitely small, He is infinitely great. And in that greatness is a promise: that the God of the universe, the God who holds all things in His hands, will never let go.

Be still.

11:26 AM

a promise.

2008-05-14T11:25:00.004-06:00

I went and had coffee with a friend tonight. She told me that I am not going crazy. She told me that all of this is to be expected, that's it's a normal part of life. And she told me something that is staying with me, something that helped me more than anything else has.
"You are going to be okay."
I guess God took that once sentence and pounded it into my head tonight.
"you are going to be okay."
It's true.

I have experienced perhaps every emotion possible over the past few weeks. I have felt anger. I have been awake at night, asking why. I have replayed memories over in my head, wondering what went wrong. I have spent hours agonizing over the same painful thoughts. I have been sick. I have been broken. I have been overwhelmed. Finally, I spent much of the past few weeks in a state of emotional apathy. It seemed as if I could really feel everything, it would tear me apart. I switched off my feelings. But tonight it was like God peeled my hand away from the switch. It is terrifying at first.
But I will be okay.

I think the whole world reassures me. It's full of imperfect people. And we all have these dreams and these plans... and they get defeated. But it's never the end. Every movie and every book ever made or written tells a story of someone who fell apart, but made it through. It's not the end. In the words of a girl named Renee: "if it was easy and if it was comfortable, than everybody would do it. but what matters is not that you fell, but that you got back up. you fall down, and all isn't lost. if this was easy, where would be the honor in that?"

It's not easy. I have fought with God and with myself every day. It is not easy to watch your dreams crumble. But it's as if God whispers to me:
"It's been so long since you let me have control. Do you trust me? Do you really trust me? Have I ever let you down before?"

The head knowledge has always come easy for me. I know the facts. I think most of us do. But the trusting, the blind faith in the times of despair, has always been difficult for me to grasp. I tend to cling to the things I love. With one hand, I offer God the shell of my life, but I have always held back what truly matters. I have realized that it takes pain and breaking to restore trust. There is no beauty without redemption.

I was reminded tonight that it is okay to feel, to mourn. Brokenness is not the end. Grief is okay. I am alive. Broken, but alive. Healing. There is beauty in healing. In promises.

I've noticed that life never slows down for us. We break down, but the days continue. I think it is God's way of reminding us that there is more. That tomorrow is a new day. The road doesn't end simply because you crashed. The book doesn't end just because one chapter is over.

I'm alive. I will be okay. Maybe not now. Maybe not for awhile. But someday. There is beauty in the fall. In the breaking. In the promise.

There's a line from a song by something corporate that has been running through my mind all night: "why do you leave these stories unfinished?" i don't understand the why. but my story isn't finished yet. there's a strange peace in my heart. my mind is settled like it hasn't been in weeks. there is pain, but there is growth and healing and a new understanding. i have no idea what God is doing, but for once, that's enough.

tonight, i'm alive. i will be okay.

oceans.

2008-05-14T11:25:00.001-06:00

I went to the ocean today. It is one of my favorite things. There's something about the ocean that makes me think, that makes me wonder. Thoughts come easy in the roar of the tide and the sweeping waves.

There's a line that Jamie Tworkowski quotes in his blog:
"I'm starting to believe that the ocean is much like You, because it gives and it takes away." I have been reminded of that quote this week, but the ocean pounded it home.

There's a line in a Switchfoot song: "All my sandcastles spend their time collapsing." On the ocean, we often build castles. And then we watch, with a sentimental sadness, as the ocean sweeps them away. It's kind of like life, I guess.

I lost a sandcastle this week. It's easy to question why. To wonder when you look at the pieces and emptiness where something real, something important once stood.
"But God, why? I wanted that. I needed it."
And it's funny, I can almost hear God laughing.
"Since when do you really know what you want and what you need? I have something so much better. Just trust me, ok? Let me show you."

Waves have always mystified me. I love jumping in them. I love the feel of them rushing past. When you're deep in the water, you can jump into the waves. There's a moment when you feel weightless, when the wave sweeps you backward and you lose your footing. It's like when God changes something in life. We all have these grand illusions, these dreams, and then God comes and sweeps them away. And you have a choice: you can either fight the wave, or you can jump with it. But no matter what you choose, the wave is greater than you.

A wave came into my life early this week. It was easy to fight and to question. But at the beach, I was reminded that if you only trust, if you only jump, that wave will carry you further than you could ever dream.

I'm jumping. I'm trusting. In the midst of pain and worry, the ocean reminds me not to doubt. That this sweeping away of my plans just means God has something different planned. Different, but better. It's what is best and I'm excited for it.

One castle of mine is gone, but there's a whole beach full of sand, and God is inviting me to come and watch Him build castles by the ocean.

joy.

2008-05-14T11:24:00.003-06:00

it's weird when in times of suffering you get random tidbits of wisdom from people. i know, when you first hear some of the stuff people have to say you wonder where on earth it came from. you get tired of people who are like job's comforters, who only want to point out all the "terrible" things you've done. but sometimes in the midst of a billion terrible pieces of advice you catch something that is good.

i've caught something from two friends of mine. and at first it sounded ridiculous. and then i heard it today, in a song, and i read it in a book... and it finally hit me that maybe this idea isn't so ridiculous after all.

my middle name is Joy. cool, i guess. I've never put much thought into it... until now.

John Piper talks alot about joy in his book "Don't Waste Your Life." (funny story, I never read the whole book, all but the last two chapters or so.) But John Piper's basic idea is that God is most glorified when we are most content and joyful in Him. In other words, when we go about living miserable existences, this brings God no glory. God calls us to live a life of joy.

I know, life sucks sometimes, and the last thing you wanna do is be joyful. how are you expected to be happy when life is so hard? weird thing is, people have been telling me lately that happiness and joy are completely different things. God doesn't call us to be happy. if anything, He promises that our lives are going to be really hard. but He does call us to rejoice. to be grateful for the small things, the big things, the things that make life amazing.

i rejoice in smiles. i rejoice in rain and in nighttime and i even sometimes find joy in the morning, in realizing that i'm alive and that life is here for me to live. no, i haven't been happy lately, but i've been thankful. so very thankful for the things God has given me. I've rejoiced in that. God is good.

I want to glorify God. but sometimes... alot of times, it's hard. when life is hard and there's nowhere to turn, why bother being happy? I don't think God wants us to be fake people. I think He calls us to be real. so don't pretend to be happy. don't pretend that life is okay. but do realize that God is good. and thank Him for anything... even if you don't think you have something... there's always something to hold onto and smile about.

stars. snow. music. laughter. smiles. love. God.

wake up tomorrow and rejoice... we serve an amazing God. He is glorified when we live to the fullest, when we rejoice in the amazing world He's created for us, when we live the life He's given with a smile, even during the worst of times.

it's a weird concept. i'm still struggling with it. and maybe it's insane or i'm insane, i know i'm rambling at least a little. but it's like God keeps hammering this concept into my head, over and over again, and I can't escape from it.

joy and happiness are two completely different things. we're not expected to always be happy, but we're expected to be thankful. that's when God is most glorified. when we are most content, most joyful, and most alive in Him.

rejoice.

religion.

2008-05-14T11:24:00.001-06:00

So there's you. There's me. There's God. And God's purpose for our lives is to have us glorify Him. He's glorified when we are content in Christ. Not content in rules and regulations, not striving to have some glorious form of religion-filled 'Christianity' here on earth, but to live with the simple realization that God is all we need.

Maybe we should forget about pretending that we have our lives and relationship with God in perfect order. Maybe we should come back to the simple heart of Christianity- the fact that we, on our own, are never going to be enough. And reading our Bibles or going to church or giving money is never going to make us into enough. Maybe we all just need to realize that the simple answer, the only answer, is to realize that we're broken and leave that brokenness at the foot of the Cross.

I have some friends who are going through some hard times. And I hate giving them advice, because everything I say seems so empty and hypocritical. But the truth is, if there were no such thing as a church and every Bible disappeared off the face of the planet, we could still have a relationship with God. I guess I just get tired of all the dishonesty I see everywhere.

There aren't any extra steps you need between you and Christ. His love is deeper than any pit that we can fall into, His grace encompasses our greatest faults, and there is nowhere that we can run to that He won't follow us, like the Father that He is.

God is love. Not religion. Not false pretenses and masks, or long and lengthy prayers and once a day 'quiet times' with your Bible. God is enough. When you fall, fall on Him alone, and He'll catch you.

And as for the Church [I'm speaking here of the universal church, not the church building], maybe we should all just remember that the world is a broken and bleeding and screwed up place. And it's our job and our responsibility to heal those wounds. Just like we can't cure cancer with a band-aid, we can't cure the world's problems with some cliche religious formula. Don't give them empty words and advice that doesn't satisfy. Give them love. Give them Christ, pure and simple. Radiate and focus His light and His love. That's all we need. This world isn't our home and it isn't gonna last, but while we're here I think we should make a difference. We were made to radiate God's love, to heal, to shine. To love.

life is not a tragedy.

2008-05-14T11:23:00.001-06:00

I went through a time in my life last year when every day was a struggle. Every night I went to bed telling myself, "I cannot make it through one more day. I can't go on like this." But every day, without fail, I awoke. The sun rose. Life moved on.

There's a feeling I get in the morning... a feeling of life. In the 2 seconds before the alarm goes off, and your eyes open, there is life. Don't take it for granted. There is beauty and safety and peace and nother day in which to breathe. And sometimes you can almost feel it, that life waiting for you to catch it, just beyond your fingertips, intangible, but very real.

Life is not a tragedy. There are moments of breaking. Friendships and families crumble. Hopes and dreams fall apart. But life, life is not those things. Life is so much better. I don't think we can really ever say that life is pointless until we reach the end. Right now - this breaking, this stumbling... it's just a step. Life is so much bigger. It's worth it.

We can look at a Man named Jesus to see Truth. He lived here on earth like you and I. He lived a perfect life. He helped alot of people get through hard times. And then He was beaten, tortured, and killed. And I guess it would probably have been fairly easy for people to think, at that moment when He was hanging on the cross, that His story was a tragedy. As He was placed in a grave, many probably pointed and said "This here, this is a tragedy." But to end there isn't including the big picture. And the Man's story is not a tragedy. It is redemption. It is hope. It is resurrection. It is the promise of life. Not the promise of dreams that come to be, not the promise that the breaking and the hurt will stop, but the promise of pure and simple life in Him.

Life is not a tragedy. You may awake each day wishing for things to be different. You may ask why this, all of this, is so painful. But life is not one moment or one month or one year. Life, true Life, is summed up in a hill and a cross and a moment that seemed like tragedy to many, but in the end, was victory.

Life is beautiful.
There is no tragedy.

hope.

2008-05-14T11:22:00.002-06:00

I believe in hope.

I believe that the world is a crazy place. There is pain and hurt and anger. There are tears and there is shame. But there is Hope.

Hope isn't something tangible, they say. But I think we can all glimpse hope sometimes. I see it in the eyes of a child. I hear it in the laugh of my little sister. Hope blinds my eyes in the morning when I look at the sun that has risen upon another day. It is in the smell and feel of the rain and in the wind running through the leaves. It is there. I don't think it comes when we are expecting it or when we look for it. I think Hope finds us.

I have felt close to Hope. At that moment, on the brink, when life seems to be falling into pieces, I have felt Hope. It rests at the edge of my fingertips, but I can't catch it no matter how hard I try. But even though I can't grasp this hope with my hands, I can feel it.

Have you felt it? That moment in time when life pauses and you feel as if everything is coming together from the littlest broken pieces. And you feel as if God is whispering in your ear, telling you to have courage, to press on through one more day. And then the feeling vanishes. But throughout you that entire day something is different. And you can hear that voice in your head, saying:

There is hope. There is love. No matter how crazy and messed up this world is. There is more to it than this. It's all going to be worth it. The end is worth this.

Life breaks us all into shards and pieces. But hope is the bigger picture, the thing we look at and say someday. Someday things will be better. Maybe not today or tomorrow or the next year after that. But someday.

I believe in someday.
I believe in love.
I believe in hope.

Enough.

2008-05-14T11:22:00.001-06:00

I like to spend time talking with my friends. Lately I've been talking with a certain friend about the world's idea of perfection, and how everyone thinks they need to have the perfect life in order to be happy. We can't ever let anyone see us cry, because then the facade of 'perfection' is gone. We can't share our weaknesses because then someone might discover that everything isn't all right with our lives.

I think that it's something that the world has told us. That we have to always be enough. We have to stretch enough, and even if we are at the breaking point it doesn't matter. Weakness and hurt and pain and brokenness must be hidden. We have to act the part, and pretend that we are enough. We don't need anyone else. We are just fine. Those who ask for help are weak.

I think alot of us spend most of our days trying to be "enough." Getting good grades in school, trying to be popular, trying to get through just one more day without crying. Maybe we're all ready to have a breakdown, but we don't show it. Don't ever ask for help. No matter how much you are hurting.

And when the pain becomes unbearable and you finally break, it means you failed. You weren't enough. The world will judge you as a failure. You're weak.

But since when has being weak been a bad thing?

God doesn't call us to be "enough". He doesn't call us to perfection. He doesn't command that we have idealistic family lives or that our report cards show straight A's.

"Sometimes a man has to be big enough to see how small he is." - 3:10 to Yuma

I think God calls us to admit that we are weak. That we really aren't anything special apart from Him. That yes, sometimes are days are filled with crap and we feel like we can't go on.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
- 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

I think the world could be a better place if we would all stop pretending. Stop pretending that everything is in order. That you have no problems in life. That you don't need anyone. Rather than calling us to pretend, I think God calls us to throw our brokenness, our weariness, and our hurts at His feet. To glory in the fact that no, we are not enough. But that He is.

His grace, His love, His power is enough.

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
Let that be enough.

Beauty.

2008-05-14T11:21:00.001-06:00

There is a girl who is one of the most beautiful people I know. She listens. She laughs. She is everything I wish I could be. Her smile is infectious. I wish I could be more like her.

Our culture tells her that because she doesn't fit a size 2, she's ugly. That because she isn't a stick, she isn't beautiful. That no one loves her because her ribs aren't poking out, because she's not as sickly thin as Nicole Richie or Angelina Jolie.

It doesn't take a genius to see how our culture's perception of beauty is flawed.

You are you. Accept it. Grow. Love yourself for who you are, not for what you wish you were. To live life regretting everything isn't living at all. You are beautiful. I don't care if you don't look like a model. I see it in your smile, in your laugh, in your eyes. Live your life. Be yourself. Don't ever, ever, change for anyone. They don't deserve it. They don't deserve your tears. You are beautiful. You are a child of God, and He loves you. He treasures you. You are His daughter. His creation. He made you to be who you are, not what everyone else is. True beauty isn't in the size of clothing you wear or in how many boys are following you around. God doesn't care if you are 50 pounds or 350 pounds. And maybe, if we could see people as God sees them, the world would be a better place.

At times, this world makes me so sick.

[You are beautiful. Don't ever forget.]

the War: Support our Troops?

2007-10-11T13:19:00.000-06:00

I've noticed something lately that really bothers me. I've talked with several "conservative" friends of mine lately about the election, specifically about Ron Paul vs. any other Republican candidate. What I've found frustrating is the fact that these so-called conservatives won't support Ron Paul specifically because of his stance on the war on Iraq.

One man in particular, who has two sons in the military [who happen to be friends of mine] says that it angers him that Paul is against the war because 'I have two sons in the military, which makes it a personal issue.' His statement confused me and brought to the surface something I'd been thinking about lately:

1) Why is it that, as soon as someone says they disagree with the war, everyone automatically assumes they are anti-military? I support our troops whole-heartedly, however, I am against the war in Iraq. The two are not mutually exclusive. I can support the troops without agreeing with what they are fighting for. There seems to be a big issue with this among many conservatives. People like myself get labeled as anti-military when, in fact, I hold the opposite point of view.

2) Whenever the issue of the war gets brought up, people start playing the "personal issue" card. Does it ever occur to them that people aren't trying to attack the troops themselves, they are merely speaking out against the war?

3) Wouldn't electing Ron Paul in essence make our troops safer? Since Ron Paul is against interventionism, he would most likely work to remove troops from foreign nations and put them back on US soil. Wouldn't this essentially make the armed forces a safer place to be?

The fact that many people seem to discard Ron Paul simply because of his opinions on the war is unsettling. And the fact that many people have not even thought through the logic of their arguments is even more so.

Be Real.

2007-10-10T12:47:00.001-06:00

My brother has a cat named Jack. Jack is a pretty unusual cat. I mean, my family doesn't really like cats, period. But we all love Jack. Jack doesn't really act like a cat at all. He acts more like a dog- wagging his tail, playing fetch, etc. Now, whether Jack is aware of the fact that my family likes dogs more than cats is debateable. But, subconciously or not, he pretends he is a dog. And we love him for it.

The weird thing is, I think we can all be accused of being like Jack at some point in our lives. All of us, whether conciously or not, sometimes pretend to be someone we're not so that more people will like us. We have our masks that we hide behind. We have fake personalities that we put on in the company of certain people. Sometimes we don't even know that we're slipping the mask on. And that's where the trouble begins. Because if we can't even tell which personality is the real one, how can we expect others to? Mask after mask on insincerity makes a cold world.

I have friends. Not many, but I'm greatful for the ones I have. My best friends lately have been the ones who are honest with me- the people who aren't afraid to be real. I find it difficult to share with those who hide behind a mask. Talking with people who aren't afraid to be real is one of the most uplifting experiences in my life. Maybe it's because I know they're sincere. I know they're honest. I know they are not hiding from me. And I love them for it.

I wonder, if we're not even real with our closest friends, how can we ever expect to be real with anyone else? Will we just grow up and live our lives hiding behind a facade, pretending to be someone we're not? I think it only makes things worse. And when people find out, when people discover the real you, they feel hurt. You didn't share with them. You weren't honest. You weren't real. Why?

Be real.